I’ve been thinking about our relationships a-lot, talking with my girlfriends about it and really contemplating what it is we all truly desire and need within our relationships when it comes to our heart + trust.
Friendships and lovers, committed romantic relationships, parent/child are really all the same and I believe rely on the same principals and foundations to exist in a healthy un harming form.
The biggest thing I have been shown these past few years with my own experiences with my relationships and within my sessions is how important openness, trust and awareness is.
All three of these sacred acts make or break our relations with others.
So how do we practice openness, trust and awareness?
All three feed into one anther and then create alignment with integrity.
So where do we start…lol?
Firstly it begins with awareness with SELF.
In fact all of this begins and ends with our relationship with our self.
When we consciously practice self awareness, we understand and know our internal environment. We are present with what is happening within. With this awareness, we can choose –
Choose how to respond, choose not to project onto our mate, choose to take a breath and walk away from the confrontation, choose to honour and allow our inner alchemy to take place without playing it out within our relationship.
The next choice is to be OPEN and explain to our partner/friend the truth of the situation and how we are experiencing it within. We can share our story with them. Without this, they are only reacting from a lack of information. It becomes a dance of ego’s in protection mode.
Openness then leads to TRUST.
Trust in our selves, that we are self aware enough to understand our inner workings, what is coming up for us to be cleared and released and to trust the unfolding + inner alchemy.
It also creates trust for our partner/friends to be able to see that we are willing to take responsibility for our own triggers, wounds and patterns of behaviour.
It cultivates trust in one another being open, transparent and honest, being vulnerable with each other. Which really means we are willing to hand our hearts over to another person to be taken care of in cooperation with ourself.
Fully and consciously trusting another is really a willingness to gift them our heart and trust they will act in the best interests of our heart. To be a committed carer along with ourselves, of our sacred heart.
How many people can you think of right now, in your life, that you would truly wholeheartedly and consciously gift your heart to?
Knowing they would always consider the impact of their actions, words and choices on your heart?
Lets think about this..
How honoured would you feel if someone you love expressed to you that they trusted you with their heart in this way?
Would you take extra special consideration and would you consciously be more present with that heart knowing it was gifted to you for caretaking?
Hell YES you would!!
This is the profound magick and sovereignty of TRUST.
I believe all of our relationships would be vastly different if we anchored into this perception and realisation of what trust really is.
Which brings me to the betrayal of trust.
How do we move through and heal a betrayal?
If we stay in the view of how we now honour and hold others hearts, we now have to look at what we can DO to heal the betrayed heart.
If we are betrayed and the trust is broken, its important to understand that its up to all of the people involved in the betrayal to contribute to the healing.
What is broken within relationship needs to be healed within relationship.
Our hearts are our responsibility yes and I am not suggesting that we disempower ourselves by pointing the finger at our lover or friend as the person who has the responsibility of healing it, just because they may have broken it.
What I am suggesting, is that by using our awareness and our openness along with an infinite flow of compassion – we all commit to doing what it takes to assist in the healing of another heart, while they caretake and move through their own inner process of healing and vice versa.
We can then take our time, witness and allow ourselves to truly see each other, to show up and take responsibility for being human and being in relationship! With ourselves and with each other!
If the other person is not showing up in ways (action speaks much louder than words in this situation) to show you they are worthy of your trust, this is an indication they are not taking full responsibility for their action in the betrayal or the consequences of it.
It may also show that they don’t want or are not ready to be a caretaker.
We are all worthy – worthy of love, to be held and cared for as sovereign and sacred beings. It is up to us to care for ourselves in this way and then be wise and discerning enough to choose who we bring on as co carers.
We all know how hard it is to rebuild trust once it has been dishonoured. It takes the broken hearted and betrayed heart deep, deep courage and willingness to hand their hearts over again in trust and faith and it takes the other heart who’s act of betrayal caused the pain, a willingness to show up and do what it takes to show the other via tangible evidence that they can and will caretake of their heart with reverence and integrity. If you dont have any idea how to assist in the healing process – ASK!! What do you need from me to help rebuild the trust? Check in often and talk about how you are both feeling.. communicate, be OPEN!
If we all commit to being aware, open/communicative and in alignment with our integrity/trust we can cultivate the most incredible relationships, friendships and partnerships.
It takes work, commitment and honesty with ourselves and those we are choosing to be in relationship with!
We are all human, pain/betrayal/heartbreak is a part of life in some way at some stage in our lives. Its part of this wonderful human experience, along with the joy and bliss.
The work is always worth it.
To come into alignment with who you really are and the clarity of your hearts truth, your integrity and to honour your heart over all else is the greatest gift you can give your self and the ones you love.
I feel its really important to ask ourselves these 5 questions –
- Am I showing up for myself as the master carer of my own heart?
- Who am I trusting my heart with?
- Do I feel safe and held with this person/friend/lover/partner?
- Who’s hearts am I being trusted to care for and am I honouring these hearts with my full integrity?
- If I have broken my beloveds or friends trust how am I taking responsibly to assist in the healing of their heart with action?