How can you heal your past?

Tamara GurneyHealingLeave a Comment

Your past doesn’t define who you are. It is just part of your story. 

I get many questions around healing the past.

How do I do it?

How do you know when you have really healed?

How long will it take?

The truth is, I don’t actually believe you really need to heal the past.

Why are we so fixated on changing and fixing..

I see and speak with so many people who feel that they will never be whole or worthy until they fix their long list of imperfections both physically and emotionally.

Our entire life is made up of moments, choices, interactions, experiences, emotions, responses and perspectives.

So I sit in the space of  – it’s not your past choices or experiences you need to heal but your perspective of them!

We have no power to go back and to change what has been and gone. the past doesn’t actually exist anyway. it has already been experienced, the only aspect of our life that does exist is the now. this very moment. this moment of gazing your eyes across these written words, contemplating their meaning and truth for you.

Our past represents where and who we were back then, decades ago or minutes ago, but it only represents who we once were.

We are constantly expanding and evolving beings, it’s impossible for us to stay the same. we may keep choosing the same perspectives and the same reactions to life but we can never stand still and cease to grow and change. this is our story. we all have a story and your level and depth of joy depends on how you tell your story!

So in order to ‘heal’ from your past you must focus your energy into the now while choosing a new perspective on the past.

This can feel very difficult and be coloured with many emotions, especially when your past has so much pain attached to it. but to understand that the only reason you are still feeling pain in the present is because you are still holding a perspective that generates pain in the now, will gift you the wisdom of true healing.

In no way am i suggesting that what you have been through is insignificant or to be skimmed over with a veil of denial. I am suggesting the opposite actually – I am encouraging you to look upon your past pain and trauma as the greatest gift and blessing and to use it as your greatest ally to becoming your full potential.

I am no stranger to a painful past, childhood sexual abuse, raped at age 19, abusive relationships, divorced parents, drug and alcohol abuse to escape the pain, putting myself at risk, lack of self-care/ love and self-honour just to name a few…

My journey back to wholeness and to meet myself in my centre has been incredible and it was because of my past that I am who I am today.

I can whole heartedly say that without my past experiences and pain I would never have found my soul’s expression, my true essence, my strength, my open heart, my ability to forgive myself and others, my voice and my medicine.

I wouldn’t be here writing this SoulSpeak piece for you, nor would I have a burning desire to lead others back to themselves to then RISE into the fullness of who they have become.

My past experiences have been my triggers to go deeper and to embody more of my essence and my soul’s blueprint. You can also use your past to do the same for you.

I believe pain was designed to call in the light.

With all of my heart, I invite you to drop into your heart space with the intention of meeting your past with love, acceptance and gratitude. Sit with the pain, it may feel like torture and it may feel like its breaking you in half but sit with it anyway. listen to what your pain has to tell you and gift you. All your pain wants, is to be heard, to leave you with a piece of wisdom only it can.

Greet it with new, fresh, open eyes and heart. without the need to blame and shame.

Just sit quietly and feel. listen.

Bathe it with your compassion and your light.

It will take you to deep hidden places within you that you didn’t know you had.

Follow its guidance. you may feel intense anger and rage, sadness or feel like screaming, crying, sleeping, being alone with nature, writing.

Just keep listening and allow yourself to unfold the mysteries of your past. allow it to shine light upon the fragments of yourself that you abandoned or rejected in moments of pain, shame and disempowerment. reclaim those fragments of self and embody them once again.

There are only gifts and only wisdom to be gained by choosing this perspective.

You always have a choice – victim or victorious.

One feels disempowered and alone and one feel empowered, free and expansive and connected.

Which will you choose?

And how long will it take you ask?

As long as it takes..

As long as it takes you to feel comfortable in a place where there is no blame, no victimhood, no regrets and no need to defend or to fight.

Choose gently to start with, just tweak your perspective to feel a shift in how you feel about that particular event or circumstance, then once you have made peace with that feeling, choose again. Choose another slightly higher perspective that brings an improved feeling.

Keep going until you feel and connect with your innate unconditional love and acceptance.

Your egoic mind may try to convince you that this is impossible, constantly looking for someone to blame, but it is possible and it is your natural state of being –

To love and to feel peace within an inner state of flow and connectedness with your essence and to all that is.

Your healing isn’t a place you need to ‘get to’ it isn’t some place that is outside of you. 


And it is calling you.


It is safe.

You are loved.

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