What you want you become.
So – Are you Being what you want to experience in your relationship?
Ive been doing a lot of reflecting on relationships this past year, especially my own!
Many of us and many of our partners are innocently unaware of what truly drives them to be who they are in relationship.
Their ego completely takes the reins and prevents them from acknowledging they are disempowered from within not from the relationship.
You have heard me talk about how important self awareness is to everything, In relationships it is super important to understand your own values and those of your partners. Its even more important to honour them!
Self awareness allows you to know what your core values are and what it is that you really want to experience in relationship. If you don’t know what it is that you are really wanting, how the hell can you create it or even be in a relationship with another – what are you showing up with, if you have no clue as to whats important to you and what your base line is?
I have been witness to many relationships over the past 16yrs in my soul work plus my own 😉 and I have noticed a pattern with men especially, but also women, who feel like they have huge expectations placed on them by their partners to perform and meet certain needs and wants.
This perpetuates fear, self doubt, insecurity, the ‘I am not enough and ill never measure up” belief and the ego’s determination to not be controlled or ‘under the thumb’.
This way of perceiving is indeed a very 3rd dimensional way of looking at and being in a relationship and its also a huge collective construct (consciousness) dating back decades and decades within the masculine.
I believe its easily remedied by a change in perspective and this brings me back to the beginning – what you want you become.
you see, if we all get clear on what we are wanting to experience and what our core values are, we naturally BEcome them. We naturally show up and offer these aspects of ourselves to our partner because its what we value in ourselves and also what we want to experience in the relationship.
if your core values are for example, honesty and integrity your actions/words/choices are going to be aligned with honesty and integrity and you will bring that into the relationship as an aspect of value and importance. It’s not going to feel like an ‘expectation’ forced on you by your partner because its naturally a solid commitment within your self, for your self.
Its important to have these conversations with your beloved, to get clear on what you are creating together and if your core values are aligned and will be honoured by both of you.
I will finish by saying that relationships truly can be our greatest teacher. As with everything in life, its all personal to where you are within as to what you are being awoken to and activated in. Every experience and every relationship serves you.
Comparison to others, past relationships and social media content are a sure way to disillusion, disappointment and confusion.
There is no such thing as THE perfect relationship because we are all showing up as human in them, we all have our ego’s playing the part and we all have fears, insecurities. We ALL have our inner world that contributes to why you have called your partner in, why they push the buttons that they do, why they are unconsciously activating your healing and why there is ALWAYS going to be ebb and flow, seasons, death and rebirth.
Just like mother nature, we as humans need to learn how to work with and accept the natural cycles of relationship, of our inner world and how to use our relationships as the wonderful teachers that they are. A relationship need never stay the same, it is a living breathing entity, just like we are and it naturally wants to expand, grow and evolve.
I invite you to take a moment, drop into your heart and re connect with what truly lights you up in your relationship with self and your beloved? What it is that you are truly wanting to experience based on your core values?
Letting go of all outside conditioning and influences of what you have been brainwashed to believe is a ‘proper’ or ‘good’ or ‘perfect’ way to be in relationship. You get to CHOOSE how you design your relationship!!
NOW focus each day with a clear intention and loving awareness on how you are BEing that for yourself and for your partner. Connect with what is important to YOU and really BE those aspects for yourself first and then show up fully in your relationship, gifting those to your partner also.
None of this is possible without clear and conscious communication, being open and vulnerable while standing strong in what really matters to you.
You’ve got this ?
I see you, I believe in you.